Explaining NSA Surveillance: A Creepy Dude Watching Your Every Move

There’s a creepy dude who is strangely interested in everything you do, be it the things you do out in the open or really personal things you would rather not share with just anyone.

You’ve never met the guy. You don’t know anything about him. So how does he know so much about you?

The answer: he reads all your text messages, emails, browses through your pictures, checks whether you’re using GPS to be able to tell where you are or were at any given moment. He sees everything in your Facebook’s inbox and everything you ever wrote in your Google searches.

Naturally, you have never given the guy your consent to go through all your stuff. It’s private, for Christ’s sakes. He doesn’t care. He does it anyway, without telling you. And there is nothing you can do to prevent it.

To put it mildly then, the guy is a horrific stalker.

Even creepier is the fact that you have no idea what he’s using all this information for. Perhaps he’s just storing it for later use. Perhaps he’s never going to use it. Perhaps he’s more interested in stalking other people instead of you. But there’s still a strange feeling in your gut because you simply don’t know.

All this makes you feel angry, exposed and violated. “To hell with this guy”, you say to yourself. “I’m going to sue him.”

Now this is the point where it gets truly kafkaesque. You’re being told that there is no way to sue the man. He works for the government. You’re explained that what the guy does with your information is quite simply none of your business. The decision to stalk you 24/7 was made behind closed doors by some people and they all agreed that it was for the best and also that it was better if you did not know about it.

You’re growing increasingly paranoid. You’re pretty sure you’re being followed when you drive to work the next morning.

You could, theoretically speaking, simply having your more personal conversations only when you meet your friends in person and use your smartphone and laptop in a less carefree way than before. However, the stalker guy is quite clever: he can make a thousand assumptions about you even if with very little information. You still have your phone with you, so he knows exactly where you were at 7pm last Wednesday. Your friend, who you were hanging out with has been talking to you on the phone and online for quite many times, so the creepy dude knows you two are connected. And since the friend in question was there that day too, it is quite easy for the creep to connect the dots and realise you two were probably together. And since your friend texted you and discussed your lack of sex life and painful haemorrhoids, the creepy dude now knows about these things in detail, too.

And so the question goes: do you want the stalker dude to be able to keep on doing whatever he does for the rest of your earthly existence?

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